Best Friends
by zilph
Summary: In which Lily Evans observes her best friend, Remus Lupin.


All characters belong to JK Rowling

Summary: In which Lily Evans observes her best friend, Remus Lupin.

Best Friends

There was something delicate about Remus Lupin and the way he handled everything. From the way he silently turned the pages of his books to how he held his fork and spoon at dinner, Remus put care into everything he did. When someone tapped you on the shoulder the other day to borrow a quill you knew it was him just by how light and cautious the simple touch was. In Care of Magical Creatures, the unicorns aren't wary of him and all the animals seem to wander by his side, practically cooing under his gentle hands. You know that teachers read his essays endearingly, his handwriting is small and neat and each individual letter seems to be written thoughtfully and caringly. Which makes grading the rest of the Marauder's essays much easier, _Half off for copying. Cheating is not tolerated in my class, Mr. Pettigrew_. You recall when you met him in first year and offered your hand and he seemed surprised that you wanted to be friends with him. But he shook your hand with a kindness and gentleness in his eyes that is rarely seen among boys that age and you knew in your heart that he was someone who didn't deserve to ever get hurt. So you promised yourself that you'd watch out for the delicate Remus Lupin.

Black, on the other hand, was anything but delicate. He was impulsive and arrogant and ugh. You knew from the start that he'd be a trouble maker and you were absolutely correct. Besides, he and Potter had been joined from the hip since their first meeting at the Hogwarts Express, the pair was notoriously horrible. Although you do have to admit that James has improved considerably. You wouldn't be dating him right now if otherwise, right? Sirius Black enters rooms loudly and boldly without caring who gets pushed away in the process. You mentally note that Remus is always the one who helps them up with a flustered smile and a soft apology. But you are thinking about Sirius right now and not Remus, so you decide to carry on. Animals are terrified of Sirius. In Care of Magical Creatures, unicorns run away just by detecting his scent. Only griffins seem to like him at all; perhaps because his pride matches their own. When you first met Black he had tripped Severus down the stairs and stuck his tongue out at you. A few days ago when he needed to copy your homework, the lazy bum, he practically tackled you and did a duplication charm on your paper before you could protest. After shoving him off of yourself, he planted a sloppy kiss on your cheek and walked away yelling that perhaps you're not so lame after all. You choose to ignore that you were blushing furiously when you left hurriedly for Potions.

When you think of kisses and cheeks and blushing you remember Remus again. You remember when he quietly confessed his most enormous secret after you confronted him in third year and began crying and you didn't know what to do. So you held him in a tight embrace, heard him apologize for being a monster and say things like_ I understand if you don't want to be near me anymore, just don't tell anyone especially the Marauders I don't want to lose my friends and I don't want to lose you please don't tell anybody I'm sorry for being what I am I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry _in a soft desperate voice. You remember not letting go of him until he stopped and his breathing evened. You remember holding his face in your hands as you vowed to never leave his side as a friend, never. Even with tears drying on his face, Remus Lupin was still beautiful. You remember how he gave you a small, sad smile and planted a light kiss on your cheek and whispered a _thank you_. You remember how you held him closer and buried your face into the soft cotton of his shirt. You remember how he ran one of his hands through your hair ever so gently and you couldn't help but marvel at this beautiful moment you were sharing with this beautiful boy.

And there was that one time during last year's Christmas holidays. The mistletoe incident that shouldn't be thought about ever again but you can't help it. Hogwarts had the charmed mistletoe last year, which followed you around chanting nasty screechy little verses at you until you kissed the unfortunate sap who was caught under it with you. You were avoiding Potter like the plague, and you hid behind a stone wall hoping that he wouldn't spot you. "Evans!" he was singing. "Evans! Evans! Evans! My lovely Lily Evans! Where are youuuu?" and he was looking around and began walking in your direction so you made a mad dash and you ran right into Remus. His book tumbled to the ground and he picked it up carefully and then you both looked up to find a sprig of enchanted mistletoe hovering above your heads. With an apprehensive little grin, Remus said something along the lines of _Might as well._ And then you both leaned in and you ignored the horrendous gasp that Potter made from somewhere outside of your vision because your vision was filled with Remus and your mind was consumed with Remus in those few seconds, minutes, hours, years. A kiss with Remus was as you expected it would be. It was delicate, like he handled everything else with, he was caring. His lips were soft and he tasted faintly of chocolate and boy and something you couldn't quite place and then it was over and there was a faint pink tinge to his cheeks and his hair was messed up because your hands had been entangled in them and he stepped away slowly and tightened his hold on his book and said something like _Sorry you had the misfortune of getting stuck with me. I'm probably rubbish at kissing. Maybe I-you-uh-we can just forget about it? See you in Charms._ And you remember putting your fingers to your lips softly, wondering what on earth just happened. And then you saw Potter pin Remus to the floor and scream "WHY? WHY? WHY YOU?" And you see Sirius around the corner gaping at the sight and then glaring daggers at you. You remember glaring back and then turning around to see James Potter right there and his was mouth is on yours and you couldn't help but feel that maybe James was right about perhaps trying out a relationship and you almost nearly forget about Remus until you saw Sirius shooting angry glances at you later in the day.

You wonder why Sirius was so angry. Was it because Remus had his first kiss with you, the crush of his best friend? Or perhaps jealousy? You shake away the thought. Sirius had no reason to be jealous. He had almost every Hogwarts girl and even quite a few boys lusting after him. As much as you dislike him you can't deny that he is very much attractive. He has long black hair, dark gray eyes, and an aristocratic air about him that makes him seem almost _noble._ He's had dozens of girlfriends and maybe secretly a few boyfriends but everyone knows that he's kissed and shagged the most number of people at this school since the Prewett brothers.

Remus on the other hand, has only ever dated that one Ravenclaw girl with the blue eyes and light hair last year. She was intelligent and pretty, much like Remus, and you remember thinking that they were the most adorable couple to ever exist. Then, Sirius was jealous. Everyone thought that he was jealous of Remus for dating such a pretty girl but you're starting to think that perhaps Sirius was jealous of the girl for dating Remus. You try and remember why Remus and that girl ended it, and you remember that Sirius hexed her face and Remus broke up with her, gently of course, as to prevent her from future injury. You remember how Sirius clung protectively to his friend for the rest of that week, as if to warn girls from even looking at the newly single Remus.

Which would be difficult of course, because everybody looks at Remus. He's got that certain _delicate _quality about him. He's polite, considerate, caring, and rather handsome. You imagine Remus and try to analyze what makes him so uniquely attractive to everyone. Individually, his features are rather feminine, you observe. His amber eyes have extremely long thick lashes, but they have a hint of sadness in them and only you and select few know why that is. He is slim with narrow hips and legs smooth enough to belong to a girl's. His skin is pale and smooth with a few light pink scars. You have only ever seen him shirtless once and after looking past his fantastically toned abdomen you saw that his chest and back were criss-crossed with larger, more painful looking scars . But while you think that they are beautiful and show how brave he is, he is deeply ashamed of them. Remus' hair is a light brown that is unbelievably soft and smells very, very nice. From personal experience, you know that Remus has soft lips and does not have bad breath. He's got a small freckle on his collar bone that you find really cute. If you weren't already dating James and if you didn't already know that Remus doesn't particularly fancy girls then you would have the biggest crush on the boy.

But your thoughts turn a little grim when you remember that not _everyone_ likes Remus. You remember how he was ambushed a few months ago by some Slytherins. He had been walking from the library to the common room alone, he explained. He refused to tell you the specifics of the attack but you remember nursing his bloody arm and trying to heal his bruised cheek. You remember asking him why he didn't fight back and he laughed softly and replied with something like _You know I could never hurt someone, Lily. It'd be against everything I'm trying to prove by being alive._ And you remember a tear sliding down your cheek as you kissed his bruise and tried to make everything better because you promised yourself that you would look after him and there he was, injured with his head on your shoulder and blood leaking through the bandages you wrapped around his arm. You remember asking him to go see Pomfrey and you remember his refusal to make the nurse worry about him anymore than she already did. You remember him falling asleep with his head in your lap as you re-bandaged his arm. You smoothed his hair with your fingers lightly, wondering what he was dreaming of.

And then Sirius Black ran into the common room with bits of leaves stuck in his hair, probably from his detention for Herbology, and a manic look in his eyes until he spotted Remus in your lap and visibly relaxed. "Is he alright?" he asked with unusual tenderness. You remember nodding silently, waiting for Sirius to speak again. "Good, because if he isn't okay then some people are going to get killed tonight. How long has he been asleep?" You recall how the anger that flashed in his face quickly transformed into concern. You quietly told him barely a few minutes. "Thanks Lily." and he gently lifted Remus into his arms as if he weighed almost nothing, which he probably did, and carried him up to the boy's dormitories. You remember how he took care not to aggravate Remus' arm, and how he barely whispered _I'm so sorry for not being there_ into Remus' hair. You then remember how that was the first time he had ever called you by your first name.

Over the course of the next few days you notice just how much Sirius touches Remus. In class, the marauders sit in precisely the same order: Remus, Sirius, James, Peter. You notice that even when Sirius is talking to James, he'll be leaning his head on Remus' shoulder or slinging his arm around Remus' thin waist. During meals, the marauders sit with Remus and Sirius sitting across from Peter and James. Sirius always has some sort of contact with Remus, whether his leg is touching Remus' leg or his arm is around Remus' slight shoulders. Even when his girlfriend of the week is sitting by his side, Sirius will be touching Remus in his a-bit-too-friendly manner. But that's how it's always been with the two of them, you muse. When Remus fell asleep in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express this year, Sirius gently guided Remus' head to his own shoulder, then to his lap. When asked why by a slightly surprised James, he replied with a quick _I just want him to be comfortable. Full moon was just two nights ago._ And that had shut Potter right up. You remember how when the conversation between the three boys became rather interesting, Sirius had looked down on Remus' head and smiled. When James and Peter left to buy some sweets and you were on your way out to visit Alice and Mary, you saw Sirius run his fingers through his own hair and mutter something along the lines of _dear god I'm in some deep shit._ After thinking back, you now realize that Sirius fancies Remus.

Tomorrow will be Valentine's Day and you're worried that James will blow up the school in his declaration of love. You're currently studying with Remus and he's looking a bit flushed and nervous. "What's the matter you ask?" and he replies with an unconvincing _nothing_. You notice that he's eyeing the pink hearts strung around the library's ceiling and ask if whatever's bothering him has anything to do with the holiday of love. He looks down at his feet and confirms your suspicions. "Remus, you know you can tell me anything." you prod gently. When he still doesn't reply, you go back to your notes and try to decipher those pesky runes once more when he interrupts with a string of jittery words _I like a boy and it's hopeless._ And you look up to face him and he's bent over with his face in his hands and he's groaning forlornly and you can't help but feel a little amused at how dramatic he's acting. "So who's the lucky male specimen that has caught the eye of our elusive Lupin?" you jokingly ask. _Can't tell you_, Remus growls. You eye him warily. "It's not James, is it? Because if it is then I'll have to start a war." He looks up again with a horrified expression, _Never! No, not him. Not him._ "Then who?" you ask one last time. He buries his face into his knees and mutters something a lot like _seerus_. You bite your tongue and inwardly cheer. You then hesitantly pat his back and say something along the lines of "Thought you'd have better taste than that Remus, honestly a mutt like him?" And then he laughs a little and continues to help you with runes and you're not really focusing because you're too busy thinking about the possibility of your best friend getting together with Sirius Black.

It is the day after Valentines Day and James had surprised you by only giving you a bouquet of roses, a doll meant to look like him, some chocolates, and a life-size cutout of a panda bear that sang a song that sounded very familiar. "Evans! Evans! Evans! My lovely Lily Evans! I love youuuu!" is still warbling in your room despite how many silencing charms you cast on it. You have decided not to meddle with Sirius and Remus no matter how much you want to, because you think that after whatever happens Remus will know that you meddled and will be upset with you and you would never ever want to upset Remus in any way possible. You figure that nature will take its course and that whatever's meant to happen will happen. You predict that Remus will quietly confess his feelings to his friend and that they will be reciprocated and that the beginning of their possible relationship will be handled with care as all things that are handled by Remus are. But you should've known that when Sirius Black is involved, nothing happens the convenient way.

You are eating lunch with James, Peter, Frank, Remus, and Alice and all of you are conversing as friends do and vaguely wondering where Sirius has gone off to this time. You are noticing that James is acting a bit odd, he has winked to the empty space across from him and next to Remus twice already. It was as if Sirius were there but - _invisible._ You discreetly whisper into James' ear "Is Sirius under the cloak right now?" To which James replies by nodding with a cheeky smirk on his face. You decide not to interfere with whatever the Marauders are planning this time and continue to secretly put your peas on James' plate when he's not looking. From the corner of your vision you see Remus stiffen and hear his silverware clatter on the floor. You look at him questioningly and your gaze asks him "What just happened?". He ignores your glance and apologizes quietly to the group for his clumsiness and goes under the table to retrieve his fork and spoon. You turn to James and he sheepishly smiles back at you, retreating from your glare that clearly asks "What are you planning, tell me this instant do you wish to die?" He looks away, determined not to spill any details. You notice that Remus still hasn't gotten back to his seat and just as you're about to check under the table Remus is back, faintly blushing and nervous with his hair messed up. His fork and spoon are in one hand and his other is shaking ever so slightly. He mutters a cleansing charm and continues to eat in the delicate manner that Remus always uses with everything that he does. After lunch, you grab him by the collar as he attempts to leave. "So, Sirius snogged you under the table with the cloak, I presume?" His eyes widen and his cheeks turn pink and that's all the answers you will ever need.

So you're not at all shocked when you go to the boys dormitories looking for James and find Remus and Sirius, of all things, spooning and talking. Remus is curled up in his bed reading a book and Sirius is curled up around Remus with his arms winding around his thin waist and his face buried deep in Remus' soft fragrant hair. Remus is mumbling something like _Are you sure about this? _And Sirius is replying back with a soft kiss to the top of Remus' head and "Of course. I'm serious about this." and then Remus is chuckling softly and Sirius looks like he's about to fall asleep with a lazy smile on his face. And you then leave silently with a bit more happiness in your heart than what was there before and a mental note to talk to Sirius about what might happen to him if Remus ever gets hurt.

But you know Sirius would never hurt him and you know that they will both take of each other. Because that's what best friends do, and that's what best friends know.

AN: Thanks for reading my first fic, if you read it in its entirety please review. Lily would want you to, you know.


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